A message to abacrombie and Fitch. On the bullies hate, and resultant fate.


To whom it may concern.

 

I recently read with disgust a quote from you, on how you only want people of a particular shape and size shopping at your store. I was sickened, then I realised something.

I FIT YOUR CUSTOMER MOULD. So then I had a thought, I am coming for a visit abacrombie and fitch, yes the ugly transwoman  with a face that looks like it had a date with a sledgehammer who is probably everything you despise is coming to visit. To make matters worse I will not be subtle. I will wear enough makeup to make a drag queen say “oh I say darling go easy on that stuff.” I won’t so much apply makeup as slap a shovel full on my face and leave on whatever sticks.

When this is done I will come in and try on literally everything in store, and given the fact I’m 5’9 with a 00 waist odds are most of it will be loose. I will complain loudly when it’s baggy, and let it be known when something fits like a potato sack. I really don’t give a shit about labels or propriety , and you wanna know what I’ll do then? I’ll leave, without buying a damn thing. Then I’ll come back, and I’LL BRING FRIENDS. If there’s one thing I hate in this world it’s a bully, especially the one who tries to warp kids minds to a pretty lil kodak moment mould. You reinforce that stereotype. So Abacrombie, so fitch, welcome to your own personal hell, hope you enjoy your stay.

 

Yours Sincerely

 

Aura Willow Hazel

 

A message to MRA’s , on hijacking and smokescreens.


This is a short and simple message to the scum in the mens rights movement hijacking our name. You do not get to speak for transpeople. So you hate radfems? Then have at least the fucking decency to oppose them in your own name not ours.

You who appropriate our voices, YOU are the enemy. At least TERFS don’t pretend they are defending you while appropriation your voice.  You who have actively opposed the treatment my brothers and sisters or indeed all my kin so desperately needed, you who oppose bodily autonomy and womens rights. Do you think the trans community will forgive your vile transgressions committed in our name? You have no honour, no courage, and now not even honesty. 

We know our enemies. Wearing our name like a sheepskin will not prevent us seeing the sad , pathetic wolf beneath. You who hurt us right through our lives, who tortured us with gender roles worsening our depression at our transness. You who enforced those stereotypes with threats and violence. You who made our lives hell. We will not forgive, and we will always remember. Most of us bear the scars of a lifetime to ensure it.

To the individual who has been threatening me. On death threats and online pests.


To whom it may concern.

I received your letters, every single one of them. Yes that includes the death threats, and the ones threatening rape and torture, and I had just 1 question. Did you think this was news to me? That your threats would somehow cause me to cower in fear?

I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. You can threaten all you like, nothing you could ever do to me can be worse than I’ve already experienced. I will never back down, not to the likes of you. I will not stop posting, if you dislike a trans person posting online you are perfectly welcome to stop reading my stuff at any time you wish. I will not be afraid of you, in fact I pity you. So blinded by your own hate you can’t accept another human being for who they are. So fearful of difference you felt the need to stoop to this just to make your hollow life seem meaningful.

Meanwhile I will do nothing whatsoever differently, and will continue to do precisely what I need to do for my own well being.Feel free to hate me if that is what gets you through the day. Do not expect me to return the favour though. Hatred is a waste of energy that could be put to far better use. I wish you luck in your life and sincerely hope one day you get your life back onto a worthwhile course. Yours sincerely,

Aura Willow Hazel.

Remember when victims had names? of huge debates and forgotten names.


Jack, John, Jade, Duwayne, Jesse and Jayden, 6 names, 6 lives, etch them into your memory because they already lost so much. 6 Innocent kids murdered by 1 evil sadistic piece of filth who should never have been allowed to set foot near them. Now it seems in death we can’t even give them the common courtesy of their own fucking names.

These children were precisely that,living human beings , they deserved so much better from life. Now in death they are being used as a political tug o war rope, a weapon in an idealogical “war on welfare.” They should have had a good life, instead their father, one of the sickest human beings imaginable took their lives, and even discussed the idea of sex upon their grave.

This is where it gets even worse, the press chose to print a photograph of this ill fated family with the headline “The vile product of welfare uk”. These kids who did not get to choose their parentage , they did not choose to be raised by this fucking scum. Can’t we at least have the decency to name victims? It would appear not, in our mad rush to hate we forgot the most important thing, these were living breathing human beings, not a metaphorical club to beat the world with. Their killers should pay for what they did, the sentence they got was nothing but a sick joke that nobody is laughing at.

The actions of this monster were not the vile product of anything but one sick bastard, to blame anything for the actions of this filth but the killers themselves is pathetic. Worse it is excusing the action itself. It gives people the idea that the killers were not responsible for their own actions, this is sickening. These deaths were the product of a killers actions, nothing more, nothing less.

Jack, John, Jade, Duwayne, Jesse and Jayden 5 names, 6 innocent lives, etch them in your memory. They did nothing to earn their sad fate, remember them whenever those in power expect you to forget they were people, and demand you hate a faceless strawman in their place.

Why I participated in 269, on marked flesh and no regrets.


I am belatedly posting this piece as at the time of the event police and CID threats made my speech a liability, that hasn’t changed, the only thing that is any different to  previously is now I’m past caring for threats or promises.

Recently I was branded in the uk in solidarity with animals placed in the horrendous industry of slaughter for human consumption. I do not regret my decision, and even if this mark does not fade for the rest of my life I never will. There are many reasons I felt compelled to participate in this action some obvious, some not so much, but my primary reason is straightforward.

In the dairy industry cows are raised to be constantly in a state of pregnancy, when they are not pregnant they have just given birth. At that point the mother is given one single day with their child, one single day before their young are taken away from them. This is horrific, an experience no child  or mother regardless of species should ever have to endure, let alone constantly throughout their entire lives. The situations for the calves are equally bad, if they are male they will be exported overseas to be turned into veal. If you are unaware what that entails please look into it, every drop of milk sold in the UK contributes to this process. Female calves are destined to endure the same process as their mother until they eventually drop, they are then simply discarded.

To raise awareness of this the 269 event was started, in over 40 cities around the world activists volunteered to either be branded with a hot iron, or marked with a tattoo, the number of a single calf, marked for death before they were even born, with no escape from their horrendous fate. I myself was marked with a hot iron, and was later arrested, several others have recieved threats, and do you know what? I’m not ashamed, in fact I’ve never been prouder to bear this mark. A living testament to horrors that one day our species will look back on and say never again.

Steubenville, on rape and victim blaming.


Ok folks before I even really start this post I  warn ya, it will get heated.

Recently I was reading posts on the #Steubenville twitter tag, as I was reading I could feel the bile rising in the back of my throat at what I saw. But compared to the bile that was currently in front of my eyes onscreen that was nothing.

Here’s a tip for all you fuckers out there blaming this poor girl for what happened to her, if a. a girl has been drinking enough to impair her thoughts in any way. (Which incidentally she hadn’t she was SPIKED) B. Said girl is unconcious C. she has not granted permission to play. D you have to physically CARRY her out. E you photograph her in compromising positions. F THE GIRL IS A MINOR . G ANY OR ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE TRUE OR THE PERSON EVER IN ANY WAY GIVES AN INDICATION THAT THEY ARE UNWILLING (I’m just gonna stop there despite the fact I have a whole alphabet of reasons why this is fucked up and wrong) then when you lay a fucking finger on thisd person it is what they call RAPE , and rapists go to prison.

Is this equation too complicated? I’ll simplify, too young? she drunky?you put pills in her drinky? you no touchie, if you do you go to prison, no more football. Rapists do not get sympathy, nor do they deserve it. They go to prison, as they should, hell in my opinion they should be accompanied by everybody who tried to cover this shit up. Anyway I’m gonna stop writing now before I get really mad.

Autogynephilia theory, on vested interests, and precedents set.


Ok time to dive in at the deep end yet again, it is time to discuss Autogynephilia theory.

Now to start opening this can of worms maybe we should begin by actually breaking down the theory itself, from there we can point out the fundemental flaws in this theory much more easily.

Autogynephilia theory is a theory coined by doctor Blanchard to divide transsexuality into 2 categories, the first of these categories is suprise suprise the homosexual transsexual,the second category being autogynephiliac transsexual. The first category is supposedly made up of transsexuals who transition for the male gaze, any non surgical transsexual person blanchard discusses he seems to shove into this category. The second the autogynephile is apparently any transsexual who is aroused by the thought of sex with themselves in a female body.

This theory has so many problems it is beyond belief, and its impact on us as a community is huge.

So now we know the theory maybe it’s time to discuss these flaws.

1. The homosexual transsexual, this is one huge issue from start to finish, it is based entirely on harmful stereotypes, assumes that trans folks are just gay men in denial, and to top it all off insultingly mislabels its victims. A trans woman who is attracted to men is precisely that, not a homosexual transsexual but a transsexual woman with an attraction to men. this myth is a direct contributory factor in Irans policy of surgical assault upon any individual with a history of crossdressing or who is unfortunate enough to be found to be homosexual . This is why this fundementally flawed point must be stopped, its perpetuation provides an excuse for surgical assault upon any individual who does not fit perfectly into the non trans, binary identified, heteronormative paradigm.

2. Transsexual people are still people, the autogynephilia theory seems to forget this . I may be aesexual myself but looking in I can see quite clearly human beings are a very sexual race for the large majority of cases. Most peoples bodily perceptions help define their sexuality, but what happens when that perception does not match with the body. Is the individual supposed to deny the existence of their sexual desires? or are they supposed to try to play along using a body that never ever fit who they were? a body that odds are repulses them.

Autogynephilia theory is nothing short of a deliberate act of sexuality shaming and control.The entire theory seems to be using a transsexual persons own bodily awareness , and often their own internalised transphobia as a weapon against them. It assumes that a trans persons sexuality defines every other factor of their life . It is insulting to everybody, assuming gay individuals transition due to lack of  strength to be themselves, that they must find above all else conceal their sexuality . It spreads about a meme that leads to direct surgical assault, that leads to reparative therapy despite the fact reparative therapy for transsexuality has been proven not to work and to also act as a contributory factor in increased suicide risk, worsening depression, and in some cases post traumatic stress if attempted. This theory also erases the existence of aesexual transsexuals such as myself, And is based on a theory of transsexuality that uses horribly out of date information and is fundementally flawed,

and finally 3. this theory was proposed and backed by individuals known to support reparative therapy including in one case a well known ex gay therapist. There were inadequate controls in the research and a clear bias was displayed throughout with weighted questions and cherrypicking of candidates.

As such Blanchards theory of autogynephilia and the linked theory autoandrophilia  are fundementally flawed, perpetuate harmful myths that damage individuals right across the LGBT spectrum, and all in all are merely sexuality shaming in a new guise. Our community already has enough of that to begin with in healthcare but that is an article for another day.

Radfem 2013, on ideologies and repeating history.


Here we go again folks, it’s that time of year again. Early indications are arising of Radfem 2013 gathering. That means time for yet another repitition of history, yet more insults slung back and forth, and in the end what will it achieve? absolutely sod all.

Oh I tell a lie, the result will be migraines all round, sound appealing? Funny it doesn’t appeal to me either, as a result I have a proposal. Simply leave it be, all the trans community will do by attempting to block this event is to look like bullies, and make this philosophy seem edgy and radical once more, rather than challenging it via legitimate debate and facts.

The real way to stop discrimination against the trans community by a small portion of the radical feminist community is by reasonable debate and discussion, on neutral ground. By being allies in common issues rather than constantly at one anothers throats over one issue. When attacked challenge it but otherwise just leave things be and if asked to back off do it, the person may have a legitimate reason for asking.  Trans exclusionary events while offensive, and misgendering to trans people cannot be stopped from taking place. I do not see why we should try. Grant them distance when requested and place your bets on how long this event continues, I’m betting not so long. Please folks don’t block Radfem2013 . There are plenty of good people willing to speak for us, some even within radical feminism itself and when in safe neutral territory we can debate freely to our hearts content. Maybe one day people will reconsider this anachronistic policy, but we have no need to demand entry. It’s like slamming our collective heads repeatedly against a wall and makes us look like assholes. I can’t tell y’all what to do, but please, think about it okay?

akb48, of slut shaming and head shaving.


Recently a video has been releasd, of a performer in japanese pop band akb48 tearfully apologising, bowing her now shaven head tearfully. Her crime? wanting to date.

This disgusts me, head shaving is a tool of shaming, when a young girl who only wishes a normal life is driven to such lengths in order to live yet still retain her happiness something has gone horribly horribly wrong.

This is contract based stripping away of a persons autono0my in order to satisfy an arbritrary and unfair rule. To hold her to such a regulation is unfair, and detrimental to the victims wellbeing. I am confused as to why this is considered acceptable, and why this would benefit the band.

Trapped meme, of prisons and language barriers.


Ok let’s get to opening this particular can o worms, the I am trapped in the wrong body meme has become a problem. This explanation was intended originally for one reason, to explain the unimaginable to people who could never ever in a billion years understand it, because they have no context from which to empathise, without the vital personal context trans realities are incredibly difficult, if not impossible to comprehend fully.

Explaining becomes somewhat like trying to describe a duck billed platypus to somebody who had never heard of a duck, or a beaver, or an otter.

The reality is my body is not a prison, not a cell, it is mine from head to toe, but here’s where it gets hard to explain. The issue lies in how a person percieves themselves, nobody had to tell most people they were male or female, they look at their bodies and compare to others and just know. From the day our bodies are born we have an awareness of who we are, an internal blueprint if you will. Observe a child some time in early infancy and you will see they may be a tad clumsy but even if the child cannot see or hear they are aware of their body.

They know where their feet are, their nose is, where every part of their body is that awareness is constant, even prior to social conditioning. If they suddenly grew extra parts they would no doubt be upset, why? because even as a child a brain knows what shape the body is, to suddenly alter that leads to extreme and distressing cognitive dissonance.

Now it gets tricky, the plainest evidence I can produce is the unusual phenomenon known as phantom limb. If a human being loses a limb it is a recorded phenomenon that 60 to 80 percent of cases the individual may retain sensations of movement and awareness of the presence of said limb or organ despite its loss.

This phenomenon is due to the fact the body is neurologically mapped by the brain, as evidenced by experiments showing that holding a mirror between missing and attached limb make it physically possible to stop the phantom limb itching by scratching the existing arm. Remove the mirror and the same results cannot be achieved.

In cases of transsexualism the same issue arises, the blueprints our brains are following do not seem to match to the current form of our bodies, talking therapies have of course been tested, however in all cases the experiments failed. In my life I have heard of every kind of reparative therapy you could care to imagine used in an attempt to “cure” us, from talking therapy, ammonia therapy, and exorcism, right through to electro convulsion therapy altered for use as an aversion therapy.

For proof of how ineffective said treatments are look to the barbaric case often heralded as the proof that all of a persons identity is socially defined the tragic case of  David Reimer (August 22, 1965 – May 5, 2004) was a Canadian man who was born as a healthy male, but was sexually reassigned and raised as female after his penis was accidentally destroyed during circumcision Psychologist john money oversaw the case and reported the reassignment as successful, and as evidence that gender identity is primarily learned. Academic sexologist Milton Diamond later reported that Reimer failed to identify as female since the age of 9 to 11, and that he began living as male at age 15. Reimer later went public with his story to discourage similar medical practices. He later committed suicide, owing to suffering years of severe depression, financial instability and a troubled marriage.

This is the crux of the issue, when a person states that gender is entirely social construction. I agree with that entirely gender as we currently experience it is entirely social, HOWEVER I firmly believe that transsexuality is something outside the issue of gender, something currently lacking a word as gender was never our word to use. We merely borrowed it due to absence of appropriate language to explain fully our condition. Gender is a word for the social roles a person experiences daily, we need a word that better fits the lived realities of people rather than just more words of convenience. If we ever wish to gain full agency of our full bodies, if we are ever to break the stereotypes and attain the medical care we need to transition without judgement it’s time we took our bodies back. Found our own words, and showed the world we are human beings worthy of respect not an abstract theory of some quack, and sure as hell not something to be controlled.

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